Most people I coach don’t lose money because their argument is weak. They lose it in the wording: the apology before the number, the “maybe” in the middle, the “okay, fine” at the end. Negotiating in your second language makes all three more likely. Everything below is about saying one clear number, once, and then being quiet.
01Why it’s worth asking
Asking is normal, and it usually works. In the ZipRecruiter New Hire Survey for Q2 2026, 91% of men and 90% of women who negotiated got a better offer. Yet only 46% of men and 25% of women negotiated at all.
A 2025 NBER study ran field experiments with over 3,100 job seekers in US tech. Simply encouraging people to negotiate raised how often they did it and what they gained. In other words, the biggest obstacle is often not the employer. It’s not asking.
A polite, well-prepared request rarely costs an offer. What hurts is an ultimatum you don’t mean, or a story you can’t support.
02Know the whole offer before you talk numbers
A tech offer is more than base salary. Before any conversation, get it in writing and list every part:
- Base salary, the currency and whether it’s gross per year.
- Bonus: the target percentage, and whether it’s guaranteed or depends on company results.
- Equity: the type (RSUs or options), the number, the vesting schedule and any cliff.
- Signing bonus and whether you’d have to repay it if you leave early.
- Level and title. The level usually sets the salary band, so it’s often the real negotiation.
- Holiday, remote work, start date and learning budget.
Then decide privately: your target, the lowest number you’d accept, and what you’ll do if they can’t reach it. Don’t say the minimum out loud.
03When they ask for your number too early
The question often comes in the first recruiter call: “What are your salary expectations?” If you answer with your current salary, you anchor the whole process to it.
In many places you don’t have to share your salary history. Several US states, including California, Colorado, New York and Washington, require salary ranges in job ads. The EU Pay Transparency Directive, due in national law by 7 June 2026, gives candidates the right to the starting pay or its range before the interview and stops employers asking about pay history. Check what applies where you are.
If they insist on a number, give a researched range whose bottom you’d be happy with: “Based on my research for this level in Berlin, I’m looking at 85,000 to 92,000 base.”
04Research a number you can defend
- Compare like with like: same level, same city or remote policy, same type of company. Levels.fyi and Glassdoor are useful for tech; ranges in job ads are even better.
- Write down three reasons you’re at the upper end: scope you’ll own, rare skills, results with numbers.
- Turn it into one sentence you can say without notes: “Based on the scope and the market data for this level, I’d like to ask for X.”
One researched number beats a list of demands. You can add a second request later, if the first one doesn’t move.
05Make the counter in two sentences
When the offer arrives, thank them and ask for it in writing first. Then make your request with this structure:
Thanks
Show you want the job. Enthusiasm keeps the other side on your team.
Reason
One reason, about the role and the market, not about your rent.
Number
One number, not a range. A range invites the lower end.
Question
“Is there flexibility there?” Then stop and wait, even if the silence feels long.
Email is fine for the counter if speaking makes you nervous. Many people negotiate better in writing because they can check every word.
06When the answer is no
A “no” usually means one part of the package is fixed, not all of it. Find out which:
- Ask what the constraint is: the band, the budget, or the timing. Each has a different answer.
- Ask about the level. If the band is fixed, a higher level may have a higher band.
- Move to other terms: a signing bonus, more equity, an earlier review, remote days, the start date.
- Get any promise in writing. “We’ll review it in six months” is not an increase. Ask for the date and the criteria in the offer.
If you need time, ask for a specific day. A short delay to review an offer is normal; most deadlines have some flexibility.
07Phrases for every stage
| Stage | Phrases |
|---|---|
| The early salary question | “Could you share the range you’ve budgeted for this role?” · “I’d rather understand the full scope before I give a number.” |
| Giving a range if you must | “Based on my research for this level and location, I’m looking at 85,000 to 92,000 base.” · “I’m targeting the upper part of your range, given my experience with X.” |
| Receiving the offer | “Thank you, I’m really excited about the offer.” · “Could you send me the full details in writing, so I can review everything together?” |
| Making the counter | “I’d like to ask for a base of 88,000.” · “Is there flexibility on the base?” · Then stop talking. |
| When they say no | “I understand. Which parts of the package do have flexibility?” · “Is the band fixed for this level, or could the level itself be reviewed?” |
| Other terms | “If the base is fixed, could we look at a signing bonus?” · “Could we agree a compensation review at six months, with the criteria in writing?” |
| Asking for time | “I’d like a day to review this properly. Could I come back to you by Thursday?” |
| Accepting | “Thank you for working on this. I’m happy to accept.” · “Could you send the updated offer in writing?” |
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| “I was wondering if maybe…” | “I’d like to ask for…” |
| “Sorry, I know it’s a lot, but…” | “Based on the scope of the role…” |
| “I need 90,000.” | “I’m looking for a base of 90,000.” |
| “My current salary is 62,000.” | “I’d rather focus on the value of this role.” |
| “Is that your best offer?” | “Is there any flexibility on the base?” |
| “Okay, fine.” (on the spot) | “Let me review it and come back to you by Thursday.” |
08A full example: the offer call
An invented example for practice. Read both parts aloud with a friend, then swap roles.
Senior Data Engineer offer
Recruiter: So, we’re happy to offer you the Senior Data Engineer role at 80,000 base, plus a 10% target bonus.
Candidate: Thank you, that’s great news. I’m really excited about the team. Could you send the full offer in writing, including the equity and the bonus details? I’d like to review everything together.
Recruiter: Of course. Is there anything you’d like to discuss now?
Candidate: Yes, one thing. Based on the scope we discussed, leading the migration to the new pipeline, and what I see for senior data roles in Amsterdam, I’d like to ask for a base of 88,000. Is there flexibility there?
Recruiter: Honestly, 80 is close to the top of the band for this level.
Candidate: I understand. Is the band fixed for this level, or could we look at the level itself, given the ownership we talked about?
Recruiter: I can ask, but I can’t promise anything on the level.
Candidate: Thank you. If the base can’t move, could we look at a signing bonus to close part of the gap, and a compensation review at six months with the criteria in writing?
Recruiter: Let me take that back to the hiring manager. I’ll come back to you by Friday.
Candidate: Perfect, thank you. And I’ll confirm everything once I have it in writing.
Notice what the candidate doesn’t do: apologise, mention their current salary, or accept on the call.
09Before your call
- I have the full offer in writing.
- I know my target, my minimum and my alternative, and I won’t say the minimum.
- I can say my counter in two sentences without notes.
- I’ve practised it aloud, including a “no”.
- I have two other terms ready if the base is fixed.
- I’ll ask for time instead of accepting on the call.
- I’ll get every change confirmed in writing.